What the Hell Happened: aka Drunk Science equals bitty Avengers

[blind_devil]

 Matt moved around his apartment like he knew where everything was which in a sense he did. He knew Clint was going to be back from training soon and would want dinner. Then the plan was to patrol the Kitchen and see where the night took them. He heard the door open and called out. "Hey birdman you are actually early...please tell me the tower didn't blow up." 

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[nexttarget]

"Not exactly." Clint says kicking the door shut the four year old on his hip starting a little. He knows Matty can hear the second heartbeat, Bruce hasn't left his size since it happened, don't ask him why. "But um Tony and Bruce where having a science party..." He says setting the boy down and the kid grabs his hand.

[blind_devil]

Matt can indeed hear the second heartbeat, high and fast. He walks into the main living area. "I assume that the fact that there is a kid with you means the science party went very wrong." He kneels down at the kid's eye level. "Hey there I'm Matt," he says with the air that he's done this before. a few times. "You must be Bruce right?"

The four year old nods and tries to hide. "Hey, hey it's okay I'm not going to hurt you. I'm a friend."

[nexttarget]

Clint smiles a little, "He's my friend, You can call him Matty." He laughs a little, "Told you, you're gonna stay with us a bit." He says easily.

"Guess those dinner plans are off, unless you want to go get dinner with us?" Clint asks arching and eyebrow at Bruce and sitting on the floor. "Or you can help me cook..."

[blind_devil]

"Clint makes awesome pizza and grilled cheeses," Matt coaches, "and I happen to love grilled cheese. What about you Bruce do you like grilled cheese."

[nexttarget]

Bruce nods, and Clint laughs a little, "He's nodding... Bruce buddy you need to use your words with Matt, okay?" Clint says licking his lips a little.

"I'm supposed to be seen not heard." He mumbles and Clint can't really catch it because the boy is looking at the ground.

[blind_devil]

Matt does though and he feels something dark and angry crawl up his spine. "Bruce," he says gently, "I know it's not fun being shy and scared in a new place but Clint and I won't know what you need unless you tell us, because I can't see you and Clint can't hear really well. You need to be seen and heard in our house okay?"

Bruce nods. "Okay," he says sounding a little braver, "I like grilled cheese and soup...can I have some soup too?"

[nexttarget]

"Yeah you can help me make dinner too, if you want too." Clint smiles standing up and offering his hand to Bruce to lead him into the kitchen. "Pepper said she's bringing you some more clothes." he smiles dragging a chair into the kitchen. "What kind of soup should we have? I think tomato goes best with grilled cheese." He smiles

[blind_devil]

"I like chicken noodle soup," Bruce says shyly, "can we have some of that with the grilled cheese?" Matt smiles. "I vote for chicken noodle too, it's my favorite too." He leans over and whispers in Clint's good ear. "How on Earth did Bruce just get even cuter. He's so polite too."

[nexttarget]

Clint laughs a little and signs against Matt's wrist, "I dunno, but Tony's a handful, you're lucky they didn't bring you home a pint sized me..." He laughs a little.

"Okay, well we have left over chicken breast from last night..." He lays pulling it out of the fridge and finds the chick stock, pulls noodles out of the cupboard.

He fills a pot with a mix of water and stock and puts it on the heat, and chops up some basil and slices some tomatoes. "Okay Brucey you dump these in the pot." He smiles putting the boy on the chair. "Once it's boiling we can drop in the noodles." He says adding a little salt and pepper to stock.

"You're fast with a knife..." Clint says wide eyed.

"I work with them a lot..." Clint responds carefully

"Are you a chef?"

[blind_devil]

Matt starts putting together the sandwiches as Clint works. The chef comment makes him chuckle. "You know I once asked him the same question and you know what he told me. That he was a ninja by day and a chef by night pretty cool huh?" Bruce nods like a puppy. "Are you a ninja too," he asks wide eyed. "Sort of I'm a lawyer."

[nexttarget]

"I'm a pirate, pirates are cooler..." Clint says smiling and it makes Bruce laugh a little. "Matty can be a ninja."

Clint checks the stock and adds a little more of the cubed up chicken breast and hands Bruce the box of noodles to dump in.

He takes a spoon full and taps Matt's wrist offering him a taste of just the broth. "Good? Gonna add a little of the shredded parm when it's almost ready." He smiles.


"Lawyer... like you work with the police..." Bruce asks looking a little nervous.

[blind_devil]

Matt rolls the broth around his mouth a little. "Touch more pepper and it will be great," he says as he starts buttering bread. "And I do work with the police sometimes if one of the people I'm defending needs me too. I'm a good guy though I don't help anyone lock up kids I promise."

[nexttarget]

Clint puts in a bit more pepper, and grabs the canister of shaker parm from the cabinet and adds a little to the pot mixing it in.

"I'm not supposed to talk to people who work with police..." Bruce says his little heart beating a little faster and he curls in on himself a little.

"Hey Brucey... What ever it is your scared of, it can't get you here." Clint says putting the lid on the pot and setting Bruce back down on the ground.

[nexttarget]

Tony comes over to the table and sits down next to Bruce, but he's shorter then Bruce and doesn't come up to the table.

It makes Clint laugh as he sets a bowl down in front of the boy. He grabs another one of Matt's law books and puts it under Tony.

"So You're not Nanny's?" Tony asks inspecting the soup seems the mild OCD had always been with him. "But I'm staying with you while my mom and dad are gone?" He asks sniffing the soup, "What's in it?" He asks looking far pickier then Bruce.

Bruce grins, "I helped him make it, there are tomatoes, green things (basil), chicken, and noodles!" Bruce smiles taking another sip of the soup and a bite from his sandwich watching as Clint starts to make him a sandwich.

"What are those in your ears? Why is he where sunglasses in the house... my dad does that when he wakes up after a party." Tony starts to ramble slurping the soup.

Pepper comes over, "You boys be good for Matt and Clint..." He says pulling a red and gold card out of her pocket putting it in Matt's hand. "Stark Industries expense card, to cover caring for them, not linked to any Avengers business." She says easily going to check on the people putting the bunk bed in spare bedroom.

[blind_devil]

"Once a talker always a talker," Matt jokes as he tucks the card in his pocket so he remembers to put it where little hands can't get at it later. "Clint is deaf," he explains simply, "those things in his ears help him hear like normal people. I wear sunglasses in the house because I'm blind and I can't see. I'm supposed to only wear them when I go outside but I didn't want Bruce to be nervous around me so I put them on. I'll take them off later once you two are used to me okay?"

[nexttarget]

"Why do your eye meats look weird?" Little tony asks taking a careful sip of soup, a much more careful and particular eater the Bruce.

"Tony... that's a mean question..." Bruce says in a voice that is trying to be hushed, but by his tone he wants to know.

"It's not if he's blind that means he's got weird eyes..." Tony says right back.

"But you could hurt his feelings." Bruce says back pointing his spoon at Tony getting a little soup on Tony's shirt.

"I'm dirty now, I don't like dirt..." Tony says putting his hands up and looking at the spot of soup on his shirt.

And Clint drags his hands down his face. "Bruce keep your spoon in your bowl or in your mouth." He says letting out a slow breath.

"Sorry..." Bruce says quickly like he's waiting for the yelling to start.

"It's okay, it happens..." He says easily standing, and moving over to Tony, "Arms up, I'll get you a clean shirt."

[blind_devil]

"Rule breaking happens once and a while," Matt says with a chuckle, "just don't make it a habit okay? We like to follow the rules in this house." Bruce nods shyly and goes back to sipping his soup as Matt takes a few bites of his sandwich and keeps one eye on Tony and Bruce though really he's listening for trouble.

[nexttarget]

Clint comes back with a clean shirt for Tony and puts it on the boy.

Tony looks at the shirt and makes sure he's clean again before carefully going back to eating. "It's good." Tony says as Clint sets the sandwich down for him.

"Thanks, Bruce helped." Clint smiles and sits down to finish his lunch.

"I did I got to put stuff in the pot." Bruce says happily, "and Matty made my sandwich."

[blind_devil]

Matt nods and reaches over to gently ruffle Bruce's hair. "You did a great job buddy. Maybe I could teach you to cook would you like that. There is a lot of simple stuff that kids can make. And cooking is just more science." Bruce's eyes get big. "Really," he says like he'd never thought of that before. Matt nods. "You have to use math too."

[nexttarget]

"I wanna do science too." Tony says taking a bite of this sandwich keeping it away from his soup.

"I think cup cakes is good for science." Clint says taking his and Matt's plates and bowls to the sink and washing them and cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, putting the soup in a container and into the fridge.

"The peanut butter vinella ones." Clint says coming over and kissing the top of Matt's head.

[blind_devil]

Matt nods. "I think cupcakes are a great idea.What do you two think," he asks softly, "fudge frosting on top?"

[nexttarget]

"Cupcakes aren't science..." Tony says, "Cupcakes come out of boxes..." He wrinkles his nose a little, "Robots are science, I made a robot." Tony says taking another careful bite of soup and finishing his sandwich.

"Cupcakes are like chemistry... mixing things to make something else..." Little Bruce says pushing his glasses up his nose.

"B is right Tony." Clint smiles, and then grins at Matt. "Yes fudge frosting, just for you... we'll do half with my Buttercream tho." He says easily.

"Let me finish cleaning up after dinner, and get everything ready, the we can make science cakes."

[blind_devil]

Matt gives Clint a thumbs up and starts clearing off the table. "Can you guys carry your dishes over to the sink. Be very careful okay."

[nexttarget]

"You don't have help." Tony says and he's actually looking down his nose a little. But something in his voice and expression tells Clint that the little boy is probably soaking this up.

"Nope, we do stuff our self... we help each here." He says warmly watching Bruce bring over his plate and bowl carefully, over to Clint.

Clint washes the dishes as they come, and putting them in the drying rack.

It doesn't take long there wasn't much to cooking to night.

He pulls down the bright purple stand mixer and sets it on the counter.

"Soooo if we are making peanut butter and vanilla cup cakes, what will we need to make them?" He asks tapping his lip a little.

[blind_devil]

"Eggs," Bruce pipes up, "and milk and flour." Tony makes a face thoughtfully. "Don't cupcakes come from a box sometimes why don't you get a box and make them that way."